Coming soon to your neighborhood…CitiBank Gets a Check, and Taxpayers Get the Shaft
I’ve been using the Efficient Love method for about 16 months now, and I have to say I’m extremely pleased with the process, versus traditional random dating.
I haven’t reached the ultimate goal of finding True Love yet, but I have met several very wonderful men along the way. We were so compatible, that when we met, I felt like I’d known them forever. Unfortunately there were distance issues and timing issues that couldn’t be overcome. But I’m totally confident that my soulmate is out there somewhere…and I’m doing what I can to help us find each other. Efficiently. 
The Efficient Love method certainly isn’t for everyone.
If you work a 9 to 5 job, don’t have any time-consuming hobbies, aren’t active in your community, and don’t have many family obligations, you probably have loads of time for random dating. You probably have the three or four hours a night it would take to go out on a date and have stream-of-consciousness conversations in hopes of eventually discovering what the stranger across the table is all about.
And if you don’t have strong preferences about your potential mate’s political beliefs, lifestyle choices, religious views, habits, hobbies, education, etc., Efficient Love is probably a waste of time.
And if you’re a pretty normal, average person (meaning, you have lots of stuff in common with the majority of people in the world) then you don’t have to be very picky. Your “dating pool” is broad and deep.
I am none of those things.
This past week I worked 57 hours on my business and in my business. I don’t have time to date men who are not fundamentally compatible with me. What exactly is the point of going out with someone unless there’s a really good chance you can have a successful romantic relationship???
I’ll put it this way… the “end” is discovering compatibility and attraction, and ultimately creating a successful romantic partnership. The traditional “means” is dating. Efficient Love is a means to the same end, but a much less time-consuming, money-consuming, and heartbreak-generating means.
And what about that “dating pool” issue?
I’m agnostic, and would prefer a non-religious mate. According to The US Religious Landscape Survey from the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life, only 4 % of the population shares my views.
I’m not mommy material. I’ve never wanted to have kids, and I don’t want to raise anyone else’s. (Frankly, the kids deserve better). Only about 6% of American women are childless by choice…and most men seem to be interested in the 94% of women who want babies. (This has been by far the largest deal-killer in my search for a life partner.)
Politically, I’m a Liberarian, and only about 13% of the U.S. population shares that view, according to the Cato Institute, a libertarian think tank.
In other words, I’m not compatible with the vast majority of single men my age. And I don’t have time to date the 95% of non-compatible men in hopes of finding the tiny handful of compatible ones.
Once I’m convinced that a potential suitor is highly compatible, I make time to meet him and get to know him “in real life.” But not before.
My time is very limited and very precious to me, so I don’t just give it away to anyone who wants it. (This week I even had to explain this to the appointment setter at a replacement window company. Her rep had come out to give me an estimate on storm doors, and absolutely refused to fax me a copy of the estimate. “He’ll be glad to come out and show you the options…can I put you down for an hour?” Uhm, no, I explained, I had hours more work to do that day. “But his appointment is free,” she insisted. “Well, it’s not free FOR ME if I have to take time from work to meet with your guy,” I answered. Geesh.)
This system isn’t perfect, but it’s better than anything else I’ve tried so far.
When you have personal ads all over the Internet, you quickly realize that there’s a very high signal-to-noise ratio. It’s not just that most responses aren’t from compatible people…most of them are from spammers, scammers and phishers.
And this site is part of the screening process to keep those people from wasting my time.
In most of my online ads, I clearly state that I don’t read replies or winks or waves or whatevers at that site. If you want to contact me, I say, drop on by at MyHeroQuest.com. (The scammers don’t actually read the ads they’re responding to, you see.)
Here’s a great example:
hello sweetie how are you doing am john by name, am a gentleman that a honest woman in his life.I am a wonderful, single man with a heart of gold, a man you would love to meet and even spend the whole rest of your life with as am also willing to meet that special woman God has sent to me,that i will be with from now till death do us part.I just need every thing i ever wanted in one woman only,am ready to spend both my day and night with that special woman.I’m my own man and I am comfortable with my own life.can we chat on yahoo here johnpaece12@yahoo.com
Uhm, yeah. About 85% of the email I get is a variation on this theme. (Yes, this is reproduced verbatim.)
It must be tough to grow up in a land without punctuation, where initial caps are an endangered species. I wonder how many thousands of these johnpaece12@yahoo.com sends out every day?
(Spambots, please be sure to add johnpaece12@yahoo.com to your spam email lists. That address again is johnpaece12@yahoo.com. Thanks.)
MyHeroQuest.com is upgrading to Wordpress 2.7 in the next couple of days. Parts of the site may not work correctly, and the links may be funky, until I get the chance to correct things. Wish me luck!Â
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