Status Report on the Quest

Posted by admin in Uncategorized on 02 8th, 2009 | one response

Ԫ�

I’ve been using the Efficient Love method for about 16 months now, and I have to say I’m extremely pleased with the process, versus traditional random dating.

I haven’t reached the ultimate goal of finding True Love yet, but I have met several very wonderful men along the way. We were so compatible, that when we met, I felt like I’d known them forever. Unfortunately there were distance issues and timing issues that couldn’t be overcome. But I’m totally confident that my soulmate is out there somewhere…and I’m doing what I can to help us find each other. Efficiently.

The Efficient Love method certainly isn’t for everyone.

If you work a 9 to 5 job, don’t have any time-consuming hobbies, aren’t active in your community, and don’t have many family obligations, you probably have loads of time for random dating. You probably have the three or four hours a night it would take to go out on a date and have stream-of-consciousness conversations in hopes of eventually discovering what the stranger across the table is all about.

And if you don’t have strong preferences about your potential mate’s political beliefs, lifestyle choices, religious views, habits, hobbies, education, etc., Efficient Love is probably a waste of time.

And if you’re a pretty normal, average person (meaning, you have lots of stuff in common with the majority of people in the world) then you don’t have to be very picky. Your “dating pool” is broad and deep.

I am none of those things.

This past week I worked 57 hours on my business and in my business. I don’t have time to date men who are not fundamentally compatible with me. What exactly is the point of going out with someone unless there’s a really good chance you can have a successful romantic relationship???

I’ll put it this way… the “end” is discovering compatibility and attraction, and ultimately creating a successful romantic partnership. The traditional “means” is dating. Efficient Love is a means to the same end, but a much less time-consuming, money-consuming, and heartbreak-generating means.

And what about that “dating pool” issue?

I’m agnostic, and would prefer a non-religious mate. According to The US Religious Landscape Survey from the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life, only 4 % of the population shares my views.

I’m not mommy material. I’ve never wanted to have kids, and I don’t want to raise anyone else’s. (Frankly, the kids deserve better). Only about 6% of American women are childless by choice…and most men seem to be interested in the 94% of women who want babies. (This has been by far the largest deal-killer in my search for a life partner.)

Politically, I’m a Liberarian, and only about 13% of the U.S. population shares that view, according to the Cato Institute, a libertarian think tank.

In other words, I’m not compatible with the vast majority of single men my age. And I don’t have time to date the 95% of non-compatible men in hopes of finding the tiny handful of compatible ones.

Once I’m convinced that a potential suitor is highly compatible, I make time to meet him and get to know him “in real life.” But not before.

My time is very limited and very precious to me, so I don’t just give it away to anyone who wants it. (This week I even had to explain this to the appointment setter at a replacement window company. Her rep had come out to give me an estimate on storm doors, and absolutely refused to fax me a copy of the estimate. “He’ll be glad to come out and show you the options…can I put you down for an hour?” Uhm, no, I explained, I had hours more work to do that day. “But his appointment is free,” she insisted. “Well, it’s not free FOR ME if I have to take time from work to meet with your guy,” I answered. Geesh.)

This system isn’t perfect, but it’s better than anything else I’ve tried so far.