The Facet Foreplay List

This is List #1 in the Efficient Love process. Read the How It Works page if you haven’t already, or this may not make any sense. (Go ahead, I’ll wait.)

Here’s a bare-bones outline of what I’m about…the kinds of things we might talk about on a coffee date. Click on any link for more details.

NAME: Kathleen

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Never Married

EDUCATION: Bachelor of Fine Arts (theater)

AGE: 43

LOCATION: Dayton, Ohio

RELOCATION: Yes, for the right man (preferably somewhere along I-75 between Dayton and Key West, but I’m open to suggestions.)

ORIENTATION: Heterosexual

RACE: Caucasian

EYES: Green (2)

HAIR: Red (More than 2)

HEIGHT: 5’7”

SIZE: 14/16

PETS: 2 Cats

SMOKING: Absolutely not

BOOZE: In moderation

DRUGS: No, Never, and I don’t want to be around people who use

IQ: About 125-ish to 140-ish, depending on how much math is on the test

GUNS: Yes. I have a concealed carry license.

PARENTHOOD STATUS: Happily and permanently child-free

POLITICS: Libertarian (I voted for Ron Paul)

RELIGION: Agnostic, Pastafarian

SPRITUALITY: Yes, my own personal flavor

OCCUPATION: Marketing/PR/Copywriting (do you need a website like this one? I can hook you up.)

PERSONALITY TYPE: INTP or INTJ

ARRESTS: None

CONVICTIONS: None

ZODIAC SIGN: If this is really important to you, we’re probably not a match. But on the Chinese zodiac, my sign is “Snake Emerging From A Hole.” I find that highly amusing. I find it even more amusing that my best matches are supposedly the Cock and the Ox.

LOCATION: Right now I’m in Dayton, Ohio. I don’t have strong ties here, although in general it’s a great place to live (lots of amenities, great arts/culture, great historic architecture, great parks/recreation, close to other real cities, cost of living so low it’s almost free).

DRUGS: I’m in favor of drug legalization, because I believe that the individual owns his body and has the right to destroy it in whatever dumbass way he sees fit. However, I’ve never done drugs, and I categorically will not date anyone who relies on “chemical crutches” to get through life.

PARENTHOOD STATUS: I have never wanted to have kids, not even for a moment. And as my only maternal feelings are for cats, I have no interest in raising anyone else’s kids either. If you have small children and are looking for a mommy for them, or want to have or adopt kids, you and I are not a match. (Your children deserve better.) This is completely non-negotiable. And it’s probably the main reason I’m still single.

POLITICS: If anything, I’m an anarcho-capitalist libertarian. Not currently a member of any party. While I admired Ron Paul’s principled run for President, I believe the desire to run for public office is a character flaw. If you think my hard-earned cashy money should be redistributed at gunpoint by government bureaucrats and corrupt politicians, we are not a match. If you think I should quit-claim my uterus and sex drive over to a theocracy, we are not a match. If you think personal responsibility and individual sovereignty are a bitchin’ combination, we’ll get along just fine.

RELIGION: Having been traumatized by Baptists at a young age, I spent most of my youth and young adulthood as an atheist, just out of spite. I eventually realized that atheism was just as dogmatic (and unprovable) a belief system as Baptistology was, so I scrapped it in favor of agnosticism, which in Greek means “I dunno, mate.” I am, however, a convert to Pastafarianism, and I’m proud to have been touched by His Noodly Appendage. You can read more about Our Starchy Lord here, or click on His visage below. Highlights of Pastafarianism include moral laxity, dressing in full Pirate regalia, and a Heaven full of beer volcanoes and stripper factories.

SPIRITUALITY: I do have a spiritual side but it doesn’t really align with any kind of organized religion.(Pastafarianism is more of a disorganized religion satire.) I have a philosophy that can be boiled down into the truisms live and let live, pick up after yourself, treat others how you’d like to be treated, mind your own business, and the Universe is abundant. My spiritual outlook can be boiled down to the phrase “what goes around, comes around.” I choose to act as if what you put out into the Universe, you get back ten-fold. I’m fascinated by the spiritual and metaphysical implications of the Zero Point Field as discussed in the books The Field and The Intention Experiment.

PERSONALITY TYPE: I’m an INTP, except when I’m an INTJ — I’m right on the borderline. So I’m very introverted (I need time alone to recharge); I’m pretty intuitive; and I’m a deep thinker. In the DISC profile, I’m a High D + High I. (Kind of a bulldozer, but a friendly, talkative bulldozer.)

RELOCATION: I really like Ohio. I also really like Atlanta. I threaten to move there every time I eat at the OK Cafe. it’s possible that my Soulmate lives in a place where I’d love to live too, and I just don’t know it yet. I’m open to suggestions. However, I am a gun owner with a concealed carry permit, so I’d prefer to live in a jurisdiction that respects my right to own and carry guns.

If you found a deal-killer…well, thanks for the virtual coffee. It was good to meet you. And best of luck in your search!