The Five Years From Today List

This is the fourth list in my massive “Efficient Love” process. The time- and heartbreak-saving process saves you the trauma of falling for someone who’s fundamentally incompatible. How do you find out of you’re compatible? By being honest about who you are and what you want out of life and your relationship. You can read more about the process on my How It Works page.

While it’s true that some partners just “grow apart,” I think it’s probably more true that their lives were on divergent paths in the first place. They just didn’t know it because they never talked about the future and what kind of life they wanted to live together.

Now, I’ve never been one for detailed planning. I’ve never been one for detailed anything. I tend to be big-picture. But here’s a totally stream-of-consciousness, rambly description of where and how I want my life to be five years from now (but preferably sooner!)

My partner and I split our time between two or three primary residences. The “city” house is a magnificently restored antique house in an historic district in a mid-sized U.S. city. The “country” house is a log home somewhere relatively rural.

The city house is either early Victorian (1860 – 1875) or Arts and Crafts (1890 – 1915). I love the very “weighty,” wide woodwork of the early Victorian era, and the 12- and 14-foot ceilings. I love elaborately carved marble fireplace mantles. But I also really, really love Craftsman-style interior design and architecture. I love handmade things, glorious burled wood and stained glass. I love Tiffany lamps and Charles Rennie Macintosh. I love handmade tiles and Stickley furniture.

My partner and I probably restored at least part of the antique house ourselves. There’s a fabulous kitchen…not necessarily a “gourmet” kitchen (unless my partner is a gourmet cook, of course), but one that’s highly functional and beautiful, and a pleasure to work in. It’s large enough for people to gather in during parties and on holidays. The stove is gas. (I hate electric stoves and ovens. Seriously, I hate them.)

There’s a front parlor (which is where the largest Christmas tree goes, next to the woodburning fireplace), plus a family room/media room, my home office, your home office, a half-bath, a formal dining room and a breakfast nook/eat-in kitchen. Oh, and a ballroom where my partner and I host dance parties (it may double as the media room–we roll up the oriental rug when it’s dance time).

Upstairs, there are at least four bedrooms. The master is large enough for a king-size bed, two walk-in closets and a master bath. The closets and master bath were probably carved out of another bedroom, since old houses didn’t have master suites. There are French doors and a balcony off the master bedroom, and a cozy loveseat where my honey and I can watch the sunset (or sunrise, depending).

The master bathroom is spectacular. (This, I have given a huge amount of thought.) I can’t see the exact layout, but the master bath includes a very generous two-person shower with rainfall showerheads, a built-in bench, and peacock slate surround. There’s a clerestory window about 8′ off the floor, and a shelf below it is crammed with a jungle of Boston ferns. They love the humidity. A few steps away is a deep Jacuzzi for two. And there’s a wood-burning fireplace you can see and enjoy while you’re soaking in the Jacuzzi. There’s slate tile on the floor in front of the long, double-sink vanity, and around the corner in the separate toilet area. But much of the bathroom is carpeted in very plush, cozy carpet. There’s a ton of storage, so there’s never any clutter on the countertops. And there’s a tankless waterheater, so you can spend as much time in the shower as you could ever want.

Around the corner from the bath is the 2nd-floor laundry room, with high-efficiency washer and dryer, ironing area and storage. There’s also a half-bath in the laundry room.

One of the bedrooms is for guests, and the other is mainly a workout room (but with a Murphy bed). The bedroom next to the Master may be for me if I’m having trouble sleeping. And it’s also my craft room where I have my sewing machine, beading supplies, etc. That’s also the room where my various Renaissance and Con costumes are stored. And of course there’s a full bath down the hall for guests. (That bath has a much more “historic” feel to it.)

There’s an insulated, walk-up attic with a lot of storage. (The attic may even be finished, and possibly serve as an office or spare room).

All the appliances are high-efficiency. And all the windows have been replaced with double-pane wooden replacement windows that look just like the original windows.

There’s a carriage house or garage large enough for at least two cars. And in the nice dry basement there’s a workshop where my honey and I keep our power tools.

The front yard isn’t very deep (it’s in an historic district, remember) but it’s got a lovely iron fence and lots of foundation plantings. There’s a wonderful front porch with (of course) a very cozy porch swing. We enjoy spending time on the porch watching the neighbors go by. The back yard is very deep, and is surrounded by privacy fencing. There’s a vegetable garden, several ponds and water features, and lots of “garden rooms.” There’s a reproduction Victorian greenhouse off the kitchen that we use year-round. There’s a great deck with an outdoor kitchen/grill area. And there’s a dining area that’s paved with large flagstones. A crystal chandelier hangs from a tree overhead (we turn it on during garden parties). The backyard is an oasis.

Both the house and the yard are wired for sound. A Bose sound system allows us to listen to our vast music collection wherever we are.

The rural home is probably a bit smaller, definitely more casual, and fits beautifully into the landscape. Natural stone and natural wood are the stars of the show. It’s set in a landscape that’s partially wooded, with a large grassy area on one side. The country house is fully self-contained and operates off the grid if necessary. It has all the comforts and amenities of the city house, including the massive luxury master bath. But in the country house, the master bath faces out over a private meadow, and you can watch deer grazing while you soak in the Jacuzzi. The front of the house faces the grassy meadow area, and the back of the house (which is set into a hill) faces a gorgeous stream/ravine area. There’s a back deck cantilevered over the ravine, and you can hear the water rushing by and hear the wind rustling through the tree tops. There’s a free-standing fireplace on the deck and (of course) a six-person hot tub. The house seems very remote, and you can’t see any neighbors, but it’s actually only 30 minutes from “civilization” in the form of a small town that’s big enough to have a WalMart. Somewhere on the property we have our own rifle and pistol range where we do our target practice. There’s probably also a lake.

My honey and are both work part-time at this point in our lives, because we make decent money with passive income from investments and real estate. And my business has grown to the point that I’ve been able to fire myself from all the day-to-day details, and just do the copywriting and strategy work that I really enjoy. We have the flexibility to spend at least one month a year traveling. We love the UK and western Europe in particular.

We don’t have anyone living with us, except probably a couple of cats.

At this point in our lives we’re financially free. Neither of us has any debt except possibly a mortgage. And we have at least a years’ worth of income in liquid assets/savings. We both have stellar credit, although we don’t tend to use credit cards much. I have a retirement account of some kind, and given how much I save every year, I’ll be able to stop working when I’m 50 (or earlier) and never work again if I don’t want to. My honey is the same or better.

I’m driving a hybrid SUV.

My honey and I make a lot of room for each other in our lives. We’re each the other’s #1 priority. We communicate effortlessly and authentically, and we are devoted to each other and our relationship. We also give each other the freedom of alone-time so we appreciate each other even more when we’re together. We love doing projects together and creating things, whether it’s working on a renovation or gardening or making music or dancing together.

Our houses are neat and clean, and we both take responsibility for keeping our surroundings beautiful. We share cooking duties too. We like doing personal growth work (sometimes together) and we love to dance and/or make music together. We’re both in pretty good physical shape because we exercise a lot (whether dancing or whatever).

And…I’m spent. That’s all the stream-of-consciousness I can come up with at the moment. More to come….