The Deal-Breakers

Kathleen, a single libertarian woman in search of true love

I’m not looking for a perfect human being. But I do believe I have the right to ask for what I really want in a partner—I have the right to find someone who’s perfect for me.
If you recognize any of these traits in yourself, we’re absolutely not a match. I do not want any of these things in my life.
  • No recreational drug use (including tobacco and marijuana.)
  • No alcoholism or addictions. This is a non-negotiable deal-killer.
  • No desire to have or raise kids with me. I can’t have ‘em and don’t want ‘em. This is a non-negotiable deal-killer. I am not mommy material.
  • No hate*-filled liberals, communists, or socialists. I’m a pro-capitalism, pro-gun, pro-individualism, pro-Constitution, anti-Federal Reserve, optimistic, glass-half-full, freedom-loving libertarian. And I think it highly likely that my Hero is too. Here’s the deal…I don’t actually care what your political beliefs are, as long as they don’t involve using the police power of the government to prevent me from living my life and espousing MY political beliefs. I’m actually very live-and-let-live politically and only get my hackles up when someone starts to feel entitled to my wallet. Stealing is wrong, whether you steal using your own gun or whether you delegate your thievery to the IRS. (*I’ve been contacted by several self-described liberals using unbelievably insulting, hateful and bad language. Unlike you, I don’t hate you personally because we may disagree on the means to an end. Yo, don’t be hatin’!)
  • No Liars. Sometimes the truth hurts, but being lied to hurts far worse. This includes willful omission of important facts. It also includes sending me a photo of someone else and claiming it’s you, or sending me a photo that’s out of date or Photoshopped. I will conduct a background check if it looks like we’re getting serious. So don’t lie to me, okay? I’ll find out eventually.
  • ABSOLUTELY NO MARRIED OR SEPARATED MEN! In case the “No Liars” section wasn’t descriptive enough… Please, please, please don’t waste my time. There are plenty of women out there you can fool around with. I’m not one of them. Separated men: please, please, don’t contact me until your divorce is FINAL and you’ve run through all your “rebound” flings.
  • No “polyamorous” relationships. Yes, I’m a dork because I had never even heard of this until recently. And no, that’s not what I’m looking for, but if it works for you, more power to ya (she said, dubiously).
  • No sexually transmitted diseases. Seriously. Not even “minor” ones.
  • No heavy childhood or relationship baggage. If you are still re-hashing the unfair or abusive things your parents did to you in 1978, we are not a match. If you’re still bitter about the girlfriend who dumped you in 1998, we are not a match. If you spend a lot of your time angry, bitter or unforgiving, we are not a match. I don’t care what happened to you in the past. I care how you dealt with it and whether or not it’s still running your life.
  • No chronic negativity. It is very tedious to hear nothing but complaints and whining from a partner. I want to focus on the positive as much as possible. (Yes, I get the irony of having this on a list of “don’ts.”)
  • No Peter Pans. My Hero spends most of his time in “Adult” and “Nurturing Parent” ego states. (These terms are from Transactional Analysis.) Meaning, you function in the here-and-now, dealing with reality with a sense of maturity and rationality. You’re kind, patient, and understanding. When I’m with my Hero, I won’t feel like the only adult in the room. I want to be with an equal…not a dependent. Childish tantrums, pouting, and video game addiction are a real turn-off.
  • No CHAOS. CHAOS stands for “Cant’ Have Anyone Over Syndrome.” I used to have issues with clutter and messiness. I have implemented the routines from FlyLady.com to get my house and my life under control. While I don’t want to live in a “model home,” I simply cannot live in a landfill. My surroundings must be generally uncluttered and organized, and no room (except possibly the basement) should ever be more than an hour away from being company-ready.
  • No Cold Fish. If you’re uncomfortable touching or being touched, or have ever been described as an “emotional ice cube,” or have serious (ahem) “performance issues,” we’re not a match.
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